Climate Change Anxiety: Striking the Right Balance

I’ve seen in the press a few times now (eg here) that it’s we adults causing our children to become so despondent about the world’s future. They imply it’s down to parents fretting so much and voicing desperation that children are getting anxious and depressed.

On the other hand, Caroline Hickman, a psychotherapist at the University of Bath, says that a lot of the time children are “infinitely more informed than their parents think.”

So – given that both views might have an element of truth in them, this is the dilemma...

1 We can assume children will know about lots of issues anyway and discuss things openly with them (shelter helplessly under an umbrella with them as the rain floods our villages).

2 Or we can keep quiet about our own views and wait for them to mention climate/extinction/crisis – which could look to them as if we

• don’t care (happily jumping for joy oblivious to the dangers)
• are too frightened to discuss
• might be shocked by things they say to us.

I hope my chosen illustration points this dilemma out adequately!

The problem is that either answer is unbalanced!

The first exposes children to discussion they're not ready for. The second shuts them out, with consequences.

Before we look at getting some balance, let's quickly check out some research about children's reactions...

Hickman’s research project

It was, in fact, also Hickman who led the large research project published in The Lancet in December 2021.

It involved 10,000 children of 16-25 in 10 countries. So, not entirely relevant to our age group – except that those at the younger end are still in families and most likely voicing their concerns openly!

One conclusion reached was that governments need to validate the emotional impact of “climate crisis” on children and take more action.

Me? I’m more concerned with the day-to-day experience of children in response to the topic. Which is why I wonder how parents can strike the right balance with their children.

Ways to strike a balance with climate change anxiety in the home

There are two main ways to deal with this issue of balance in our response to children.

One is to filter some facts in – to tone down the emotions and bring in some thinking.

The other is to deal with the anxiety it's causing, because it's the anxiety that's spoiling their enjoyment of life today.

Let's look at them in turn.

1 Drip-feed some facts into the situation

Help your child to learn/hear some facts that will contribute to maintaining their own sense of hope and calm.

Clearly you need to be age appropriate with anything you talk about with your child. But bringing some unassailable facts into everyday conversation means you provide a calm context. 

They will then have a wider range of knowledge (at their own level) when you have to talk together about what's happening globally.

Here are some facts:

• The planet has had periods of change before and survived because humans are inventive. Talk about... 

1. previous hot/cold spells (see chart above); 
2. the problem of air pollution in earlier centuries that killed people; 
3. diseases eradicated, etc.

• All over the world there are experiments, improvements and inventions contributing to solutions that help. They need to become seriously large-scale but they’re happening.
• Although governments may not be doing a lot (usually promising but failing!), other people are – maybe mention the Earthshot Prizes.
• Although not everyone believes fossil fuels are to blame, there’s nevertheless a huge move to other forms of energy generation. You can...

1. help your child think positively about other forms of energy
2. check what energy you're using at home
3. keep track of windy days when wind power works, etc.

• Individuals can make a large difference, even if some refuse to. Don’t make your child feel superior or better than others – just encourage them to do their bit.

2 Prioritise dealing with the anxiety

Anxiety about climate changes and eco-issues are NOT a mental health issue – it’s a normal response to hearing worrying things being discussed.

But – and it's a big but – over-anxiety about it can become a mental health issue. This is what you want to help your child avoid.

So the best way forward is to hear what your child says and respond to the anxiety bit while not denying the climate bit.

This might include any number of responses, so I’ll only mention a couple here:

1 Support your child by

• listening carefully,
• asking more about what they’ve heard, and
• helping them sort through it to reduce their anxiety.

I recommend helping them draw what you both talk about – because it's a sort of resumé. Drawing is always a wonderful way to help get things out of the feeling state and into a more cognitive state.

Don't believe this?! Just think how we write shopping and task lists to get rid of the stress of feeling we’ll forget something!

So – according to their age and ability, take things as far (and only as far) as your child does. If and when they broach the topic again, well you have the sheet of paper there to add to!

2 Help your child find a way to do their bit.

“What sort of things could we do our family to use less energy? Avoid waste? Help nature?” That sort of thing.

There's always something your child can do at the right level of ability.

However, I don't want to digress on this one here. I’ve dealt with climate anxiety on another page on this website. You'll find much more detailed help there about what your child might undertake.

A way to keep that balance

Here, we’re interested in keeping a balance about climate change anxious moments in your child.

But how can we strike a healthy balance when as adults we’re caught up willy-nilly in the whole climate thing simply by dint of being residents on the planet?

Here’s a suggestion. It might seem too simplistic, but there you go, I  mostly look to simple solutions!

How would it work if we mentally took note of times when the topic is mentioned in the house and made sure that each of those times is not one-sided emotionally?

This would be like putting on a non-biased emotional cap. Our children pick up emotion, but, unfortunately, when emotional, they can't think so well.

So, whichever way our own feelings run on the topic of climate change, trying to be balanced emotionally will definitely make sure our children get non-inflamed, non-anxious conversation on the topic.

Why is this important?

Because it will keep their anxiety at bay. When they see you managing the topic soberly and quietly, they will imbibe that stance from you. The result is this:

• They will not think you can’t face it.
• They will not fear to mention things they hear from friends at school.
• They will take in information calmly and quietly when you talk together.
• They will hopefully not join the 39% of young people in that survey who said they were reluctant to have children and bring them up in such a dangerous world.

But of course that doesn’t solve the global problem. It does, however, help them maintain good mental health until they’re of age to take further action themselves. Give it a go?

Sign up for the Anxious Child Help newsletter
Don't miss the latest additions. My monthly digest newsletter will list them for you. [PS Check your junk folder afterwards for the activation email!]

ALWAYS:

Trust your instincts,
use your judgement, protect the spirit
of your child