Why Does Climate Anxiety in Our Children Feed on Adult Talk?

My sole aim here is to help you deal with the climate anxiety that is apparently being felt by children around the world.

I say “apparently” because surveys cover very few children and some of those “children” are 16-25, which is not our age range here really. Nevertheless, there is a level of alarm entering our children’s lives on a daily basis.

But what I’m not going to do is take sides in the ongoing argument about climate change, global warming and the causes and possible solutions. That’s outside my remit here!

So let’s start at the beginning and walk our way through the topic.

What do our children hear that causes climate anxiety?

What are the climate anxiety topics our children are hearing about on television, in their houses and out on the streets? They at least include:

global warming
CO2 emissions
earthquakes
fires
draught
floods
climate change
activists glued to the road
teenage protestors
climate distress
eco-anxiety

If you add to these topics the emotive words being used...

“Our homes are on fire”
“deadly “
“annihilation”
“time running out”
“betrayal”
“humanity is doomed”
“crisis”
“failing to act in time”
“the world is ending”

...you can sense how dire it must seem to our children, who're not yet as cognitively able as we are.

Let’s boil this down to three main climate anxieties.

Threat of annihilation – survival mode kicks in.

Feeling impotent – having to wait for someone else to change things (older children have started to be activists, but they're urging powerful adults to do something).

Imbibing insecurity from adults – those who are meant to be their safety net.

I’ll look at each in turn.

1 Threat of annihilation

The developing brain system is all about survival. The amygdala jumps into action at the slightest threat to survival. The immature brain then takes over and desperately tries to get away from the threat, or fight it.

You’ll find a wonderful metaphor by Kate Silverton that I reviewed here, which explains your young child’s brain system as a baobab tree with a lizard, a baboon and a fluffy owlet as their main online systems at this time.

The reason your child might not be able to rationalise what they’re hearing about climate anxiety, and make some more sense of it, is because they've not yet got a well-enough developed thinking brain to do so. This comes later.

That’s the fluffy owlet bit who needs to grow into a wise owl who can sort out thoughts and dangers and calm the nervous system. That’s the parent’s job until your child’s own wise owl comes online.

So what do we have in the climate anxiety context?

Your child hears all this exposure about dire events (like a lizard) and jumps into survival mode (like a frantic baboon shouting for help). They need their anxiety dealing with, sorting out, calming, or whatever is appropriate. But they only have a fluffy owlet as yet! So you have to do it!

2 Feeling impotent

The power gap is huge in the first 12 years of life. Yes, some children do emerge and take on a leading role in the world occasionally. But in the main, children are impotent to do anything about things that lie in the adult domain.

Ever felt impotent to change things yourself? Have you fretted and complained about “no one getting on and doing something”?

This is how our children feel about all sorts of anxieties, including climate anxiety. Of course, we teach them about sorting anxieties into groups. That would be

things they can do something about,
things that no one can do anything about (so get on with life), and crucially
things to hand over to an adult and expect them to help out.

We talk more about this here.

So what’s the problem? It’s exactly that last point. All your child hears is that adults are “not doing anything about climate”. The very people your child needs to depend on to sort out a huge problem (their anxiety) are not doing so.

Why? Well, that’s what leads us to the last point.

3 Imbibing insecurity from adults

At this point, with huge fear about a threat and a frantic little baboon out of control, your child could well be hearing in your home your own worries, frustrations and annoyance – according to what you think and what you reckon should be done or not done.

That's natural. But it comes with a risk. The risk is that they "catch" climate anxiety before they have the reasoning to deal with it.

You know how kids take in the atmosphere around them? That’s what’s happening here.

Children – who cannot know as much as we do, and don’t understand as much as we do, and (because they’re powerless) just want it all sorted out – are struggling with climate anxiety because they see and hear adults around them struggling with and talking about … climate anxiety.

It’s a vicious circle.

And this is the main reason why climate anxiety is affecting our children’s lives quite a lot.

Thinking about eco-anxiety and our children

It’s important to think of eco- or climate anxiety as distress but not as a mental illness. It’s a natural reaction to what's happening and what's being said about it.

Let’s think of it, in adults and children, as “a chronic fear of environmental doom” – as phrased by Clayton in 2017. That clearly explains it as a survival instinct, which links back to our ideas about what’s causing this distress in children.

The obvious answer is that if we can (like with their other anxieties) talk about it in a child-appropriate and calming way, they will feel less vulnerable, less alone.

The problem with that is that everyone’s talking about it but not in the right way. And many are saying keep it quiet, let’s not distress the children. Which obviously isolates them with their anxiety and increases it!

There are two ways forward if your child is anxious or concerned about all the climate change news. And these are:

Empathise and engage with them about their fears in order to make them manageable on a day-to-day basis. Not dismiss them. This returns to your child the sense of support they need.
Encourage a positive, response at the level of their ability and within your family. There are many stories out there of people doing really good things to help. This reframes it in a useful way.

Doing both these in your family is the best way forward, of course. But you know your child best, so choose what works for you to help them manage their climate anxiety.

To decide on this, you might be taking into consideration how affected your child is.

1 Do they mention it occasionally but are quickly back to their play, believing it will get sorted by someone at some point?

A younger child, having heard conversations, might well be one of these children. In which case, some eco-friendly, positive activities will help them “do their bit”, while allowing some helpful (age-appropriate) facts/discussion through, so they don’t feel you’re shutting them out.

2 On the other hand, is your child disrupted by their anxiety and bringing it up quite often?

In this case, you'll probably want to sit down with them and talk openly about how they feel, explain anything they don’t understand or have missed out, and help them to lower their anxiety levels (see Strategies) while also doing something positive together to engender hope.

Both these tactics need you to be truthful in an appropriate way. Children who feel their parent is hiding things will lose trust in them – which is in itself bad for their mental health.

Let’s dive in further and look at some activities to do together.

1 Empathise and engage about climate anxiety

Children in general feel better if they feel heard and understood.

Activity

Set aside a time in the week and call it something like Our World Time – you’ll want to choose according to the age of your anxious children. Tell them that this is when you’re all going to have a family get-together for 15 minutes.

Let them know this is when you’ll all discuss things they’ve heard about the world this week even if they’re not worried. But especially if they've heard things they want to tell you about.

They may have picked stuff up at school,
had a lesson on climate or, simply,
are still concerned about things they’ve heard or seen earlier.

The thing about this meeting is:

you will only deal with what your child or children bring up
you may be drawing flowers or something so it's not eyeballing them
you will empathise and let them know you understand – without adding in facts that make it all worse. Don’t try to make it right either. Just accept!

For each topic of conversation, or each worry mentioned, one of you has to draw it or write it down on a piece of paper. Be creative or inventive here.

Gather up the slips of paper and make a point of saying that you’re all going to put these worries aside until next week at the same time.

Ask the children where they’d like them kept. Have a special place.

Now – it’s out of their heads, it’s been heard and accepted, and it’s put aside for now. The worry pot is not to be opened until next week:

“You never know what’s going to happen in the next 7 days so it’s silly to waste 7 days of your life. We’re now going to tell each other what we’re going to concentrate on till next week.”

And go round one at a time and hear some positive plans.

This activity is not burying a problem. It’s more like putting a time perspective on climate stuff and then choosing to see it like children experience grief: they weep and then run off and play as if they’ve forgotten, then cry again, and play. That’s natural to them – even though adults tend to grieve for longer periods at a time. You’re encouraging them to be the children they are.

The message you’re silently getting across is: It’s OK to think about these things, but not all the time.

glass jug with worried thoughts inside on slips of paper to illustrate climate anxiety helpful activity

2 Encourage and flag up positive responses

Children will immediately feel better if they’re taking charge of something appropriate for their age.

Activity

Notice when there’s an opportunity for your child (or your family) to do something positive about the planet, the garden, the street, their neighbours, a flower etc.

Huge variety of things according to age, including:

water a plant
grow some cress
offer to help a neighbour or relative
look after a pet properly
visit the woods and really notice things living there

When you spot an opportunity, encourage your child to do it and accompany them in the task ie support them taking control of a task, and comment how positive they've been.

Make sure to link it to doing their bit to make the world a nicer place. Or taking care of nature. Or helping someone in need.

This activity is not aiming to solve the climate problem. It’s encouraging thoughtful, positive behaviour which simply can’t exist alongside fretting and anxiety, and therefore offsets the climate anxiety.

The message you’re verbally getting across is: You can do things yourself that help make the world a better place. You don’t have to feel helpless.

child watering plant and looking after pets to help the world and reduce climate anxiety

How will these strategies improve your child’s climate anxiety?

As they get older they will find their own niche for activism. But for now, climate anxiety will make them ill if you don't bring your own wise owl brain in and contain it for them.

So the main takeaway here is to help them

NOT pick up anxiety from you
have a place and time to be heard and understood
find something to be competent about that is positive and helpful to others and nature. See below for one more – ongoing – activity!

Two useful resources to help you talk with your child about climate anxiety

The first one is this:

The APS has published a guide for parents about the climate crisis. I dislike using the word crisis because it engenders immediate stress in children. However, the resource lists suitable ways of responding to children at different ages.

The second one is this:

This series about the Magic School Bus has a long history of being popular with children around 4 years old. It mixes fact and fiction (a plot!) and has margin material that helps as they grow older.

If your child is older still, have a look at this page from Nasa's Climate Kids site. Lots of understandable text and images etc.

Can your child tick off these 10 natural-world tasks by age 11?

Here’s a suggested list – alter or adapt it to suit your own child’s needs, abilities and opportunities.

1 Recognise by sight 5 common birds in your area of the country.

2 Recognise 3 different types of tree by shape and leaf, or maybe the bark or flowers.

3 Identify 10 different flowers (wild or “tame”) where you find them growing.

4 Grow cress on a saucer – or a similar edible green-shoots plant.

5 Plant and nurture a crocus bulb in a pot.

6 Plan a three-mile walk using a map – route, suitable clothing, and things to take – and do it with an adult.

7 Name three constellations and find them in the night sky – at a suitable time and place with an adult’s company. Maybe: Orion, The Plough and Cassiopeia?

8 Know and name the phases of the moon and name three features on it. Staying up late to see it is part of the fun of learning!

9 Explain the water cycle in nature: and how this is linked to the natural world’s health.

10 Explain the factual connection between humans and nature in relation to carbon dioxide and oxygen.

I’ve never met a child who doesn’t like ticking off accomplishments. But you could, instead, keep the list in your head over a few years and encourage your child to be able to do these things.

A child who feels confident with an “I can” or “I know things” skill set is going to maintain a greater level of mental health going forward – and a greater interest in the natural environment. Plus it staves off that sense of helplessness. Build a little campaigner for the future!

A win-win situation in today’s world.