What are the possible causes of anxiety in a child?

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Looking at the possible main causes of anxiety in your child is a challenge for most parents. 

The easiest thing for a parent to feel when they suspect their child is anxious or has symptoms of anxiety is to blame themselves and feel… guilty. 

Don’t! 

Don’t start asking yourself what you did or what you might have done differently. The past is done. The only thing that matters is helping your child become less anxious and back to their old self. And for that you need to work out what might have caused their anxiety.

When I say don’t feel guilty… yes, of course life happens and when things happen your child might react in a way you hadn’t expected and didn’t want. But guilt helps no one.

The important thing now is to start sorting out the causes of anxiety before the symptoms get worse and professional help is then needed

And believe me, there are many ways of helping your anxious child that don’t need professional input at this stage – although I am a professional and I am offering you some input on this website!

The difference is that I’ve often worked with parents and their child over a few weeks to help them help their child themselves going forward. I prefer this to dishing out labels and lengthy treatment. I’ve found it works well.

So I will list all sorts of possible causes here, and you can read about them in more detail by following the links. 

But they’re only meant to help you ferret around to find out what might be lurking under your child’s anxiety. They’re not meant to be an accusing finger. That’s not helpful to anyone.

Possible causes of anxiety to think about

• School: teachers or lessons – they may not be taking into account a particular child’s needs
• Sudden financial changes or poverty – children pick up on adult worries about jobs and income, and it might actually affect them personally, for instance if their pocket money has to be stopped
• Unsafe living conditions locally – they may be aware of gangs or fights locally or drug dealers infiltrating the area
• Being obese – children are very cruel and will not understand there might be a reason for it
• Having an illness eg cancer, or a physical condition eg diabetes type 1 or impaired hearing or sight
• Having a sibling illness in the family.
• Someone they know dying, or even the death of someone’s pet or their own – they don’t understand death very well until later
• Unsuitable TV/DVDs or online gaming
• Feeling unhappy about their gender – in the present cultural situation, they may have heard lots about this
• Fear about their future – children talk to each other and the atmosphere can be very negative, especially about jobs and the planet
• Separation or divorce of parents – children imagine the worst if they’re not told things! Much better to share what can be shared and reassure them
• Being on the autistic spectrum
• Bullying, perhaps at school or from a local friend – perhaps via a phone or multi-player video game
• Alcohol use in the home
• Family changes – perhaps a new adult moving in
• Neglect at some point – perhaps if they’re now adopted or fostered and were used to being neglected and “left without” (physically or emotionally) when with their birth parent
• Adverse Childhood Experiences (commonly called ACEs) – these include abuse but cover other events too
• Parental problems of various kinds
• Some trauma or accident the family has been involved in eg a car crash 
• Imagining danger eg from news bulletins – they can’t necessarily work out what is likely to affect their own family when they see avalanches or earthquakes or terrorist attacks
• Too much information for their age – again, their brains can’t yet deal with adult levels of information
• Fear of letting parents down – they somehow feel what is expected of them even if you haven’t said anything!
• Covid trauma and anxiety
• NEW PAGE – when your own anxiety accidentally maintains your child's
• NEW PAGE – climate anxiety picked up from adults

If one or two of these causes strikes you as a possible factor in why your child is anxious, do have a read by following the link (more links are being added regularly), because I will also offer some tips and help on how to start dealing with it. 

And if you feel you need more help with your child or things are not improving after a while, do have a look at the Asking for Help section. 

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ALWAYS:

Trust your instincts,
use your judgement, protect the spirit
of your child