Complex Trauma and Anxiety: What You Need to Know

Complex trauma results from a range of varying traumatic experiences related to several issues rather than just one.

It’s possible you’re not quite sure what exactly “complex trauma” refers to. There’s also the phrase “complex grief” – and of course bereavement is a trauma too, quite often, however much we prepare for it.

So let’s just clarify this so we can talk about how complex trauma and anxiety can go hand in hand in your child.

We say it’s complex trauma when someone has experienced multiple and/or prolonged traumatic events. These might include:

  • abuse,
  • neglect or
  • violence.

And they often occur in a child's caregiving system. You’ll have seen from the media that the impact of complex trauma on a child's development can be severe and long-lasting.

Here, I’m not really dealing with these aggravating factors, but before we move on, let’s take a quick look at them. After all, some of you may have fostered or adopted a child that has experienced complex trauma and therefore currently experiences anxiety as well.

  1. Domestic violence: Whether they’re victims or witnesses, they’re at high risk of developing complex trauma. Witnessing domestic violence can be especially damaging to a child's emotional wellbeing and can lead to anxiety, depression, and behavioural problems.
  2. Sexual abuse: Children who have experienced sexual abuse can develop complex trauma, which can have long-term effects on their emotional and physical health. It can also lead to feelings of shame, guilt, and self-blame, which can make it difficult for those children to seek help or even disclose the abuse.
  3. Neglect: Lack of adequate food, shelter, or medical care constitutes neglect, and leads to complex trauma. In turn this leads to feelings of abandonment, isolation, and helplessness, which can affect a child's ability to form healthy relationships and trust others.

Of course, not all children who experience trauma will develop complex trauma. Individual factors, such as temperament and resilience, can play a role in how a child responds to traumatic events.

And – significantly – what if your child has always been in a good home? How might complex trauma come about in that situation?

What can cause complex trauma and anxiety in a loving, stable home?

complex trauma image

That’s a fair question! OK, suppose we're talking about a child of 6-12 in a loving home where there’s no domestic violence, sexual abuse or neglect. What might cause complex trauma in that case? 

The truth is that, even in a loving and supportive home environment, your child may still experience complex trauma and anxiety due to a variety of factors. I’ll just mention three examples (and remember that having more than one of these together makes the trauma even greater):

Sudden loss of a loved one 

The sudden death of a loved one can be traumatic for anyone, including children.

The loss of a parent, grandparent, or sibling is especially difficult for a child. They don’t have sufficient understanding of death at various ages, so sudden bereavement can lead to feelings of abandonment, confusion, and grief. 

In addition, a child can lose someone they love by other means – moving abroad, acrimonious family splits etc.

If your child doesn’t receive adequate support and understanding during this time (which is understandable, as you, too, have been bereaved), they may develop complex trauma. 

Chronic illness or disability 

Children who live with chronic illness or disability may experience complex trauma due to the ongoing stress and challenges associated with their condition. 

Worse, they may face stigma or discrimination from others, which can further exacerbate their trauma.

Other children can be really cruel. Many times, this is to fend off the awful feelings that illness or disability bring up in themselves. But the effect on your child still adds to their trauma.

Community violence or natural disasters

Many children today witness in the media, or experience in reality, violence or natural disasters and may develop complex trauma – again perhaps exacerbated due to lack of understanding.

If you consider the horrendous rise in knifings, shootings, terrorist attacks, hurricanes, and earthquakes, you can imagine how these experiences can lead to feelings of fear, helplessness and vulnerability.

If you add in the ongoing stories about climate disaster, you have a background against which these individual incidents play out in additional trauma.

The long-lasting effects on your child's mental health and wellbeing can easily group themselves into symptoms of complex trauma and anxiety.

The good news is that every child is unique. It’s easy to fear the worst. But your child may respond differently to traumatic events depending on their individual circumstances and coping strategies. 

That’s why it’s super important to grow these characteristics in your child from a young age.

If you can provide a safe and supportive environment in your home, this can be crucial in helping your child survive multiple events and also recover from complex trauma you had no control over earlier in their lives. 

Activities to help your child work through complex trauma and anxiety

Why am I linking the trauma and the anxiety?

The reason is that, by definition, trauma has taken a way a sense of trust, certainty, and safety.

When you no longer know what to expect, the only reaction can be primitive anxiety. Where resilience enters the picture in a helpful way is knowing – or learning – how to deal with that anxiety!

In the meantime, you need broad activities that will help you help your child to deal with complex trauma and the anxiety it brings up.

The two main ones that you yourself can safely and helpfully do at home are

  • using expressive arts for as long as your child is willing to, and
  • helping them learn how to bring their body back into equilibrium. In other words, relaxation to regulate emotions, breathing and behaviour.

So let’s have another look at the value they bring to your child’s mental and physical wellbeing.

1 Expressive art activities to help relieve complex trauma

Children who've experienced complex trauma may struggle to express their feelings and emotions verbally.

That's the perfect scenario for engaging them in art activities, such as drawing, painting, or clay work. These activities provide an outlet for your child to express themselves in a non-verbal way.

You'll be surprised how drawing and painting, or sculpting clay, show you what's bothering your child.

Not only that, but your child will continue to work through their feelings while doing the activities on different days, gradually making sense of what's happened.

They're effectively processing and communicating their feelings visibly.

However, if you find your child stuck repetitively in the same motions or processes for longer periods, then maybe that's time to consult a child therapist for a bit of skilled help so your child can move on.

2 Mindfulness and relaxation exercises to regulate anxiety due to complex trauma

As we said, trauma can disrupt a child's sense of safety and security. This can lead to

  • feelings of anxiety,
  • hypervigilance, and
  • sleep disturbances.

If you can teach your child mindfulness and relaxation techniques – such as deep breathing, visualization or yoga – you can help them regulate their emotions and promote a sense of calmness and wellbeing.

You can practise these activities together with your child, and also encourage your child to use them independently as a coping strategy whenever they're feeling anxious.

It's important to remember, though, that your child is unique. They may respond differently to different activities or interventions in response to how they've experienced complex trauma. Be sensitive and be ready to ask for help if necessary.

You should seek professional help as soon as you have concerns about your child's mental health or wellbeing for longer periods.

A mental health professional can provide additional guidance and support to help your child work through complex trauma. You can find help in looking for a child counsellor here.

A book to help you understand about complex trauma

complex trauma Thierry cover

Betsy de Thierry writes excellent books that any parent would find helpful – therapists too! This simple guide might be just what you can benefit from.

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