How to Ease Your Child's Holiday Anxiety

blog42 holiday anxiety

As soon as summer holidays or Christmas presents come within spitting distance, some children will feel excited but others will be inwardly anxious. In fact, the same can be said of many parents! Children at home all week, for weeks, or the need to cater for distant and near relatives... Holiday anxiety is commonplace.

Breaks in routine are meant to be all about fun and festivities, sea and sand, right? 

But, let's be real. For some children, it's more of a stress fest than a festivity.

I’ve heard many children tell me in the privacy of the therapy room that they prefer school. Not that they would say so to their parents! That's not cool :)

And many do like school, of course. But although they say they "prefer school", it's often simply a way to tell me what's wrong with holiday time – for them.

So what goes wrong in their heads when holidays loom? What exactly is holiday anxiety?

What's Bothering Them? Unpacking Holiday Anxiety

One major culprit can be Too Much Festive Frenzy. 

Bright lights, loads of extra film-watching, Santa visits, foreign trips... whatever the season, these might be fun for many, but for some children, it can be overwhelming. (Living rurally, even I baulk at town centres and Christmas markets sometimes!)

Then there's the challenge of Chatting with Aunt Carol or any other relative they don't see often. 

For a child, striking up a conversation with distant cousins or unfamiliar faces can be a tad intimidating. It’s hard enough dealing with the random person who calls at the house, or someone talking with your parent who suddenly turns their attention to you.

The many more likely encounters in the holiday season is another source of anxiety. Especially for your child if they find social situations particularly hard.

And don't get me started on The Sound and the Fury. 

Loud music, fireworks, and big family gatherings, like New Year's Eve parties or large entertainment venues abroad, can mean sensory overload for a sensitive child.

Noise is confusing to anyone’s senses. It stifles thought and can bring on survival mechanisms like fight or flight.

Lastly, the Routine Goes Out the Window syndrome. 

Children thrive on routine, and can feel unbalanced by sudden or prolonged changes. And think how you spent so long keeping to routines to ensure a peaceful and ordered childhood for them. Now you suddenly break them!

Late-night family dinners, for example, that disrupt their usual bedtime can throw them off. Lack of sound sleep can then contribute to them being unable to cope with both the change to their routine and the holiday anxiety that accompanies it.

The irony is that we parents are the source of holiday anxiety – we initiate the changes! – and then our children tend to get the wrong end of our tongue when they to misbehave!

Remember, behaviour is a sign of something being wrong. We have to play detective. So what are the signs we may notice?

Spotting the 5 Signs: Does Your Child Have Holiday Anxiety?

It's essential to keep an eye out for behavioural signs of anxiety in your child. Here are 5 that you might spot:

1 If they're more on edge, being fidgety or snappier than usual, like snapping at their sibling more often, it's a red flag. 

2 Some kids turn into worrywarts, constantly fretting about holiday events, expressing fears about an upcoming family gathering, questioning “do we really have to?” 

3 Sleepless nights are another sign to watch out for. If they're tossing and turning more than dreaming, especially before a holiday event, it's a cause for concern. 

4 Frequent complaints about stomach aches or headaches, like before a Christmas play, can indicate anxiety. 

5 And if they're trying to avoid a specific event in your holiday season, it's a clear sign they're feeling overwhelmed.

Tackling the Holiday Anxiety: Effective Tactics

Having recognised their behaviour as a sign of anxiety, we naturally want to help. It's very easy to get cross and shout at them – and our own anxieties about the season feed into that. So here are a few ideas for how to help. 

1 Consider creating a chill zone to counter holiday time anxiety

Whether in the UK or abroad, a quiet corner decked out with their favourite teddy or soothing tunes can be a sanctuary. Imagine a cozy nook with soft lighting and cushions where they can retreat when the festivities get too much. 

One good idea is to use it yourself occasionally. We all get stressed out during holiday seasons. Why not model how to chill? How to regain balance? How to let anxious thoughts go away via a change of topic?

2 Try maintaining a semblance of their usual day-to-day routine

This could be ensuring bedtime is at 8 pm, for example. 

Routine – even one – can be the cornerstone of providing assurance that not everything has gone out the window! This Routine to the Rescue approach can be a lifesaver. Children simply don’t need to be up all evening for two or three weeks on end, never mind six over the summer holidays.

3 Remember the power of communication

Let's Talk is not just a phrase; it's a strategy. Sit down for a heart-to-heart over hot cocoa and encourage them to share their worries. 

And when they do, listen. Really listen. When you really hear what’s giving them holiday anxiety, it’s much easier to strike a balance. If attending another party seems too much, opt for a quiet evening at home. You probably need it too!

This Balance is Key approach ensures they don't feel overwhelmed.

4 Equip them with relaxation tricks

Simple techniques like deep breathing can be game-changers, helping them manage those overwhelming moments. As can:

  • A few moments with a sorting activity
  • Half an hour colouring a pattern
  • Tapping their acupuncture/acupressure points

Routines and changes of routine – why these are important when tackling holiday anxiety

As I write this, Christmas and other festivities are approaching fast – and end-of-term activities will have stoked up the over-excitement weeks in advance! But it's the same as the summer holidays approach.

School has provided routine, familiarity, and consistency. This now goes out the door as school closes.

It’s therefore important your child learns to deal with both routine and changes of routine. It’s obviously not useful or healthy to become trapped in rigid thinking, whether your child is neurotypical or non-neurotypical. Life demands quick thinking and adaptability!

But with a bit of understanding and some handy strategies, maybe you can help your child enjoy any seasonal break without the dreaded holiday anxiety plaguing them.

And that, in turn, will help you enjoy it so much better, too. Give it a go?

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