10 Frequently Asked Questions About Children’s Anxiety

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Before a parent considers bringing a child to therapy, they often have several questions they want answering so they can clear up some ideas in their minds before making any decisions. To help out, here are the 10 most frequently asked questions with some brief answers – enough to hold the line while you consider.

Frequently asked questions and their brief answers

Let's start with numbers 1-5 as there is a lot to take in all at once. As we'll see, these are the basics and the following 5 frequently asked questions will take things further.

What are the common signs of anxiety in children, and how do I distinguish them from typical childhood behaviour?

Anxiety in children can present in many ways. Common signs include excessive worry about future events, physical complaints like stomachaches or headaches, trouble sleeping, restlessness or irritability.

Some children may become clingy, avoid certain situations or have difficulty concentrating.

Of course, all children experience some level of worry or stress. The key difference is when these feelings are intense, persistent and start to interfere with their daily life or happiness.

What might be triggering my child's anxiety, and how can I identify these triggers?

Triggers for anxiety can vary widely among children. Common triggers include school-related stress, social interactions, changes at home (like a move or a divorce) or specific fears like the dark or being away from parents.

Observing your child’s behaviour and noting when they become anxious can help you identify triggers. Keeping a journal of situations that provoke anxiety can also be useful in recognising patterns.

How does anxiety typically manifest in children of my child's age group?

Anxiety can look different depending on a child’s age. 

Younger children may express anxiety through physical symptoms (like stomachaches) or behavioural changes (like clinginess or tantrums). They're not often verbal enough to explain to you what's wrong!

School-age children might worry excessively about school performance, social situations or future events. It's worth noting here that all anxiety is future focused! The trigger might be in the past but the worry is for the future.

Tweenies and older may show anxiety through avoidance of certain activities, withdrawal from friends, or perfectionism. 

How can I support my child at home when they experience anxiety?

Supporting a child with anxiety involves creating a safe and predictable environment.

  • Validate their feelings without reinforcing the fear.
  • Encourage them to talk about what’s bothering them.
  • Teach them helpful relaxation techniques, like deep breathing or mindfulness.

In addition, gradual exposure to the feared situation, with plenty of praise and encouragement, can build their confidence and has been proven to be very effective with phobias.

It’s important to be patient and offer consistent support. We parents can get exasperated all too easily and undo the good work!

What impact can anxiety have on my child's social interactions and academic performance?

Anxiety can significantly affect a child’s social life and school performance. Socially, they may avoid interacting with peers, feel self-conscious or struggle with making and keeping friends. 

Academically, anxiety can lead to difficulty concentrating, fear of failure, avoidance of schoolwork or refusing to go to school. This leads to the kind of underachieving that holds them back later in life.

I've seen the long-term impacts of "wait and see". So if you can envisage these effects, hopefully it will help you to help your child now!

FAQ anxious girl

Frequently asked questions 6-10

Could my child’s anxiety be related to any specific changes or stressors in their life recently?

Yes, anxiety in children is often linked to recent changes or stressors, such as starting a new school, parental separation or the loss or illness of a loved one. 

It’s not always negative changes either! Even positive ones, like a new sibling or a family move, can trigger anxiety.

Children may not always connect these changes to their feelings, so it’s helpful to gently explore any recent events or transitions that could be contributing. Once things are out in the open, the worry often subsides. Your child lives to be heard!

How do I differentiate between normal worry and an anxiety disorder in my child?

It’s normal for children to experience worry, especially during stressful situations. However, when worry becomes excessive, persistent, and starts interfering with daily activities like school, friendships, or sleep, it may indicate an anxiety disorder. I give some pointers here.

If your child’s worry seems out of proportion to the situation, lasts for several weeks or more, or causes significant distress, it’s important to seek professional advice.

What role does genetics or family history play in childhood anxiety?

Genetics can play a role in anxiety, meaning it can run in families. If you or close family members have experienced anxiety, your child may be at a higher risk. 

However, environment and learned behaviours also contribute. None of us is immune to fearful thoughts these days! Children may observe and mimic anxious behaviours from us or their siblings. Worse, we can accidentally help to maintain their fears.

So – if we take a look at our own response to anxiety, we'll be able to either deal with it first or refuse to display it in front of the children – although they seem to pick things up from us by osmosis! Best, then, to deal with it!

How can I help my child build coping skills for managing their anxiety?

Building coping skills involves teaching your child strategies they can use when they feel anxious. These might include deep breathing exercises, as mentioned above, positive self-talk and gradually facing their fears in manageable steps.

Learning to relax in any way they find easy and helpful is also good.

It’s good to encourage them to express their feelings and learn skills to help them problem-solve – together with you in the support role. Consistent practice and positive reinforcement when they use these skills are key to helping them manage anxiety long-term. It builds their resilience for future.

When should I be concerned that my child’s anxiety requires professional intervention, and what signs should I watch for?

If your child’s anxiety is severe, persistent, or worsening over time, it may be time to seek professional help.

Signs to watch for include

  • significant changes in behaviour,
  • withdrawal from activities they once enjoyed,
  • physical symptoms with no medical explanation,
  • refusal to go to school or
  • if their anxiety is causing distress in your family.

Early intervention can make a big difference, so don’t hesitate to reach out to a professional if you’re concerned.

I've tried to offer here an initial place to start your deliberations about your child's anxiety and what the way forward might look like. I've included some practical steps because, as I often say, parents are in the best position to take action early and prevent ongoing problems. Go for it?

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