Help Your Child Find What Excites Their Spirit

child running towards something out of sight to illustrate find what excites their spirit

I’ve always been captured by Rumi’s wise advice about responding to every call that excites your spirit. Rumi was a Sufi poet of long ago – but the comment reminds me of seeing dog walkers hanging around while their pouches sniffle and snuffle at goodness-knows-what that suddenly interests them! What excites their spirit? Maybe a scent of cat? The thought of finding a morsel to eat??

We can certainly relate that to children who seem curious about everything! They’re definitely the ones who seem programmed to be optimistic and positive in future (although many lose it along the way). But all children can still be helped to give free rein to their spirit and let it grow.

What’s more, this general idea was what fed into my words you may have noticed in the sidebar of the website: 

Trust your instincts,
use your judgement,
protect the spirit of your child.

But how hard that is when they tire us out with night feeds, tantrums, arguments and petty annoyances day by day!

The good news is that it’s been proved that “good enough” parenting is absolutely fine for bringing up a child who's 

  • capable, 
  • confident and 
  • not given to over-anxious moments!

So how can we achieve that – granted we’re all so time poor and fighting the battle of daily living? 

And more than that, why is it so important to find what excites their spirit? Let’s think about that one first and then decide how we can do it.

Why is it vital to find what excites their spirit?

1 To stop life becoming dull, boring and unendurable.

Their brain starts out as childish, inventive, imaginative and wonderful! I’ve written before about how I resonate with Kate Silverton’s idea that our child’s brain is like a baobab tree inhabited by a lizard, a baboon, and a fluffy owl – that needs to grow into a wise owl. 

It’s those lizard and baboon bits we need to nurture even while their fluffy owl gains more adult ways of understanding and behaving.

Do you still know how fabulous it feels as an adult to climb on a low wall and run along it?

Or swing on the supermarket trolley?

No? That’s because we’re conditioned to do what society accepts as “normal”!

What we need to do is encourage and keep alive the childish part of their (and our) brain. Result? Their spirit remains curious, alive and alert to fun and new things. Without this, life becomes unending chores – and then NOTHING at all will excite their spirit.

So finding out what excites their spirit – and nurturing it – seals off the path to boredom as a teen and adult.

2 To give them the gift of optimism and resilience.

Just think about how excited we feel when we’ve dreamed up a plan and decided to put it into effect. Nothing stops us.

The party will go ahead whatever unexpected setback we meet. The new bed will fit in the room even if we have to find a way to dismantle it and make it go in!

We’re unstoppable when the spirit takes hold with excitement. We can do anything.

It’s the same with them. Finding what excites their spirit will stand them in good stead all their life, whatever mishap crops up.

They'll be filled with optimistic attitudes and some "spring-back" resilience.

3 Once they’ve discovered this excitement and zest, they'll always seek it out.

Imagine how we feel when we discover something exists that we thought we’d have to do without. Some gadget, some medicine, some solution. Once we know these happy solutions can exist, that’s our first thought: find out if it’s possible. Find out how to do it. Find out what it is.

So – we give our children a taste of how life can be an interesting and wonderful journey, and they always remember it as a possibility and seek it out. 

This leads to us wondering: how can we help them find what excites their spirit?

This is not the same as finding it for them, of course. We all know the feeling of trying to energise a child around something that’s sparked our own interest. It’s like struggling through mud! The real prize is to help them find it themselves.

This takes us back to the doggy-walking point I mentioned! Dogs and cats sniff out their own spark of passion, and we can use three ways to help our children find out what excites their spirit.

And of course it's worth saying that the actual “thing” will change. But it will likely stay similar in “kind” as the years pass. A unique child will have unique things that stir them. But that’s fine. Our role as parents is simply to support them in finding it.

So here are three ways we can actively support them as they seek out what excites their spirit.

3 Ways to Help a Child Find What Excites Their Spirit

1 Notice when they’re fully grounded, in the flow and preoccupied

When they’re like this, something has grabbed them! It might be reading, examining a flower, following the flight of a bee with their eyes, or maybe having a look in the nooks and crannies of the supermarket wall!

Whatever it is, just try to pinpoint what it must be about – that something that's shooed all else from their minds except  pursuing this exciting moment. The unknown? An addition to what they already love? Something doing something fascinating?

And – unless you have an appointment, a deadline, an emergency or something else unavoidable – pause and give them the time.

Then chat with them by showing interest in what they saw, were doing, or found. Give it respect. We don’t all want to know a nappy was pushed into a hole behind a wall, but accept what they tell you. This honours their excitement!

2 When planning a random activity, bear in mind what you discovered about your child

If possible, align your plan with what excites your child’s spirit. Yes, I know. It’s obvious! But how many times have I – or you? – half decided on what would be “good” to do and then tried to force our children to get enthusiastic about it too!

If it doesn’t matter which activity, let’s be open and say, “How about X because I realise you like that sort of thing? Shall we see if it’s fun again?”

If they don’t agree, it’s no big deal. Tracking what excites them deep inside is a long journey, not an hour’s outing!

The benefit is in doing this sort of planning deliberately whenever possible. It offers them the opportunity to be curious and have another adventure.

3 Talk about things that have excited your own spirit

This doesn’t mean giving them the idea they should find it as fun as you do. But what comes across in excited sharing is the idea that there's more to life than the dull and ordinary. 

If you love finding things in rock pools, just go do it, even if they show no interest. Mention you find it such fun and are curious how many different animals etc you’ll find today.

If you love being in a crowd at a carnival, tell them why you find it so exciting, the atmosphere, the sounds, the life, the interesting people and sights etc.

In this way, you’re revealing you have a spirit that is imaginative, not locked into routine, and can find joy in all sorts of places. You child will imbibe it.

And in this way, too, you’ll have helped them go for anything that excites their own spirit. Which takes us back to point one – talk with them about the things they find fascinating.

What’s it all about really?

Finding out what excites their spirit teaches them over time that they're not just automatons in the work force, nor condemned to a life of simply earning a living.

In other words, they're more than meets the eye. They have depth and spirit.

We need to encourage this idea because when they find what excites them, they'll thrive. And if they’re thriving, they don’t have much time for excesses of anxiety! Go for it?

This is a link to a longer and more wide-reaching article by Maggie Dent on nurturing the spirit in children, but it makes for an interesting read if you have a little time free.

TAKEAWAY>>>>>

  • Children are naturally curious and optimistic, and it's important to support their excitement.
  • Finding what excites them keeps life interesting and prevents it from becoming dull.
  • Help them discover their passions by noticing what captures their attention and giving them time to explore it.
  • Plan activities that match their interests to keep them engaged and adventurous.
  • Share your own excitement for things to show them life is full of wonder.
  • Encouraging their curiosity helps them thrive and builds resilience.

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