How to Win the Health War Without Causing Your Child Anxiety About Weight

children of different ages to illustrate avoiding anxiety about weight

You might wonder why anxiety about weight is such an important matter to put an end to.

The truth, from my point of view, is that it's less about media coverage of how many children are simply overweight or being diagnosed with Type 2 diabetes.

It's more about the effect that endless, non-remitting anxiety will have on children's development. Cortisol damages their brains if it's high for long periods.

And in addition, why let out children suffer this fate when we parents have a lot of power to limit our child's anxiety while taking on the burden of solving our child's weight problem ourselves.

So – where's the anxiety being stoked from?

1 Pressure from online influencers (eg on TikTok and IG) can lead to disordered eating (even before it becomes an eating disorder).

2 Society fat-blaming leads to unkindness in the playground.

3 Lack of confidence and resilience has bred anxiety in our children about everything since the unusual events surrounding the pandemic.

Yet – maintaining a healthy weight is possible and desirable without a lot of stress. In this post, I'll suggest how you can win that war!

So – let's look at three major ways you can ensure your child is not over-anxious about weight.

1 How to win the health war: avoid the scales!

What your child weighs is 

  • partly down to genetics and 
  • partly down to bone structure. 

What they’re given is what they have. 

After accepting that fact, the key to not causing anxiety is to watch the use of the bathroom scales in your house!

I'm not joking! Anxiety about weight can be avoided.

Do you often weigh yourself or mention the words weight, diet, slim, skinny, or all the other words and phrases associated with judgement (it is judgement, isn’t it!)?

Of course, we think them. But it’s good to remember not to say them out loud.

Everyone has a healthy weight for them, and the last thing your child needs to pick up is that there’s something wrong with them – whatever the scales might say if you did dump them on them in a fit of exasperation to prove a point!!

OK – they may well have gorged on chocolates, snacks, pop drinks while out and about, and huge containers of popcorn at the cinema or while having a snuggle session with you on a weekend.

We’ll look at that in a moment. What I’m suggesting is you forget about the scales – and anything the scales represent about wrong and right and an unhealthy focus on figures.

Your child needs to be a child and grow the things they need for success first.

So, concentrate on your child’s 

  • personality (this will help them deal with any criticism about anything),
  • resilience (to keep trying whatever needs doing at any time), and
  • confidence (that they’re just OK as a person, whatever else is going on).

However, if you fear they’re piling on the pounds, how do you deal with the weight issue in the background?

2 How to win the health war: encourage a healthy lifestyle from day one!

Obviously you're in charge of what your baby eats for many months. And they can’t easily take themselves off for a walk till they gain some independence. So maybe not day one – but from the start, bear in mind the anxiety they'll feel if they gain an unhealthy weight for them.

Me, I like to have a few things in mind, like a bulleted list pinned between my ears that I can mentally review when I think of healthy/unhealthy lifestyle!

What might be on it for a healthy lifestyle? Here are 3 things you can encourage in your child:

1 Insist they get fresh air for 60 minutes every day minimum. 

Chuck them outside come rain or shine for that amount of time. Join them if you can even after they are more independent. Make it fun. Take a toddler walking. Most of us do, because the day grows longer otherwise! But primary school children need taking out too. Make it a family ritual: you'll "take the air", so to speak, like in olden times!

2 Make sure they change occupations from sitting to standing quite often – or vice versa – not too much couch stuff. Be active.

Moving about encourages good circulation. And in case you didn’t do biology at school, apparently the blood flow around your body deals with fat cells in different ways!

And fat cells are important for storing and releasing energy. You want them to work properly to avoid later problems. But this isn't the place for advanced biology, so let’s move on!

3 Ensure they get enough sleep.

Poor sleep leads to poor physical development and lots of anxiety issues. It’s a vicious cycle that you need to help them avoid. Maybe remove devices from the bedroom and have a calming down routine every night. Plus some calming music?

3 How to win the health war: only provide healthy food!

Anxiety about weight might never rear its head if you decide early on to only allow healthy food in the house bar for occasional treats.

It’s not too hard to make that decision – and it’s definitely much easier than not giving in to your child when it’s available within arm’s reach! 

But it’s also easy to think like an adult and start removing starchy foods and cereals from your child’s diet. It goes like this: anxiety about weight means I’ve grabbed too many carbs.

But children need energy (even if they wear you out all day with it!). 

So – you have to choose between starch and sugar to provide it. It’s a no brainer!

Why?

Starch is broken into glucose molecules, yes, and carted round your child’s body until they need it. But as it also contains fibre, vitamins, minerals and sometimes proteins, that’s clearly a better source of energy than pure sugar!

And a plus? The dietary fibre in the starch slows down absorption of glucose into the blood. “Nice and slow” wins the day! No sugar rush to make them hyper.

Just be sure to avoid the refined use of starch in some tinned foods. By then it’s lost its nutritional value (the fibre etc) even though it helps make a nice thick sauce.

Of course, your child needs protein too. If you’re not using milk in your household, make sure they get enough of the right kind of protein from a similar source. Cereal protein is not enough for good health on its own.

So – where does that leave us food-wise?

Avoid the sugary and non-nutritional things we tend to have around the house. It's a simple remedy: “Not in the house, can’t be sneaked from the fridge or cupboards!”

Anxiety About Weight is Infectious and Dangerous

Your child can pick up anxiety about their weight from many sources as we said up top. The only things you can do about it are:

  • Keep weight talk out of your house (unless your child wants to talk about it or about what’s been said at school).
  • Deploy fresh air, activities and sleep as a secret background strategy to avoid any unhealthy weight gain.
  • Ensure you listen out for any class bullying episodes (most schools have zero bullying and equality of respect policies) and monitor social influencers and other resources your child might be subject to. Take action earlier not later. 

A final thought or two

Anxiety about weight is a dangerous starting point to disordered eating and then eating disorders.

And children will take up all sorts of behaviours to get rid of overwhelming anxiety.

If you have tweens or young teens, therefore, you might like to review this article on “Body Checking” that pinpoints the signs you can look out for that might indicate your child has cottoned onto this body-checking trend and adopted it to ease the anxiety they feel about their weight.

It's better to stop it in its tracks earlier, with the strategies I've described here. Give it a go?

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