Adventurous or Anxious? Which Will Your Child Become?

I was watching two children playing around in the supermarket aisles the other day while I was queueing to pay! It was interesting  to see how one was willing to roam further away from the parent, running and hiding and ducking out again, but had to come back and entice the other child – from the same family, judging by their similar looks – to join them. The second child did join in each time, eventually, while looking reticent about going further away. But it had me thinking: “What leads to being adventurous or anxious?” 

Why might a child become either adventurous or anxious during their primary school years? Does it matter and can you influence it?

Will being adventurous get them into unacceptable trouble as teens? Will being more reticent lead to becoming overanxious and unable to enjoy life?

Obviously there are extremes either way and we all hope for a smoothish ride as parents! But there are maybe three ways your child can find themselves steered in one direction or the other to be adventurous or anxious.

But first, and coincidently, while browsing my inbox later, I came across an article from Clinical Child and Family Psychology Review published in 2021 that mentioned adventurous play as a mechanism for reducing risk for childhood anxiety. How interesting! I'll mention it again at the end with a link!

So now let’s look at the three ways a child can find themselves going in one direction or the other and then some ways to influence your child’s journey – if that’s what you wish to do. Sounds like adventurous or outdoor play might be one of the ways, but we’ll see!

Psychological factors influencing adventurous or anxious behaviour

Attachment Style

A child's attachment to their primary caregivers can significantly influence their behaviour. Secure attachment, where your child feels consistently loved and supported, often leads to more adventurous behaviour as they feel safe to explore their environment. A bit like the first child I saw in the supermarket! 

In contrast, inconsistent or neglectful care can lead to anxiety, as the child may feel less secure about their surroundings and relationships. I doubt the second child was neglected, so we need to look further! What part does genetics play?

Genetic factors influencing adventurous or anxious behaviour

Inherited Traits

Genetics can predispose your child to certain temperaments. They’re half you and half their other parent – with a pinch of their own inclinations thrown in.

So you can end up with a child who is naturally more inclined to be a risk-taker and explorer, showing traits of being adventurous. Maybe you recognise your younger self in bits of how they think and behave?

Or – your child might be more cautious and sensitive to their environments, which can manifest as anxiety. Not serious anxiety, maybe, but a reticence that you might wish they didn’t have. Or perhaps you are a bit like that yourself, or their other parent is?

These innate tendencies are often shaped further by their upbringing and experiences. So let’s look at that next.

Environmental factors influencing adventurous or anxious behaviour 

Family Dynamics and Experiences

The environment in which your child grows up plays a crucial role. 

Like me, you may have read about parents who up and off on a round-the-world few months or years with their children. You might be one, yourself. In which case, kudos! You’re braver than me.

The fact remains, if you expose your child to diverse experiences, such as travel, outdoor activities, and social interactions, they may develop an adventurous spirit. Not necessarily, but you won’t have hindered it.

Conversely, a child who experiences overprotection, limited social interaction, or exposure to parental anxiety might lean towards anxious behaviour.

This is something you can influence, of course. Helicopter parenting has become necessary for safety reasons quite often, so the solution is to do it as seldom as possible. Then you have done your bit!

How can I influence whether my child is adventurous or anxious?

Let's imagine a scenario for each of the points about attachment or experiences (the genetics bit is more inborn) and after that, these kinds of scenarios either will or will not help steer a child to their best life. (And who knows? Being reticent – if that is really their nature – is obviously best for their happiness!)

1 Good attachment leading to more adventurous behaviour

Imagine a young child, around 3 years old, playing in a park under the watchful eye of a parent. The child, feeling secure and confident in their parent's presence, decides to climb a small play structure. The parent encourages this exploration, offering supportive words and staying close enough to provide safety but far enough to allow independence. 

This encouragement and the secure knowledge that their parent is there for support and safety, embolden the child to explore further, perhaps trying out a new slide or interacting with other children.

In this scenario, the child's sense of security, derived from a strong, supportive attachment to the parent, directly contributes to their willingness to explore and take risks within a safe environment. 

Result? The child learns that it's okay to try new things and that they have a safe base (their parent) to return to if needed. This experience lays a foundation for the child to approach new situations with curiosity and confidence, traits often seen in adventurous individuals.

2 Providing diverse experiences

Consider a family that engages in a variety of cultural activities with their 6-year-old child. These activities could include:

• Visiting Local Museums and Art Galleries: This exposes the child to different aspects of history, art and culture. It's not just about seeing the exhibits, but also about engaging the child in conversations about what they see, encouraging them to ask questions and express their thoughts.
• Participating in Community Events: Attending local festivals, theatre productions, or community workshops. For instance, a local science fair or a cultural festival offers opportunities for the child to learn about different scientific concepts or cultural practices in an interactive and fun environment.
• Trying Various Cuisines: Introducing the child to different types of food at home or in restaurants. This could be as simple as cooking a new international dish together at home, or visiting a restaurant that serves cuisine from a different country. It's a way to explore the world through taste and learn about different cultures.
• Nature Exploration: Instead of just general outdoor activities, plan specific nature-related experiences like bird watching, hiking in different types of terrain (forests, beaches, mountains), or helping on a local allotment. These activities can instil a sense of wonder and respect for the natural world.

In this example, the child is not only exposed to a variety of experiences but also learns to appreciate diversity, adapt to new environments, and develop curiosity.

Result? These experiences can significantly contribute to building an adventurous and open-minded character in the child.

How can I honour my child's genetic disposition and still encourage a more adventurous outlook?

Here are a few tips that might be of use, while always remembering you’re not trying to change their character but avoid a disposition to anxious behaviour that will hold them back later in life.

Step-By-Step Gentle Encouragement in New Situations

If your child is naturally cautious or anxious, just introduce new experiences in a gradual, non-threatening way. For instance, if your child is hesitant about trying a new sport, maybe take them to watch a game, then try playing informally at home or in a park before considering joining a team. Respect the initial apprehension while gently nudging them towards new experiences.

Creating a Safe and Supportive Environment for Exploration

You can create situations where your child feels safe to explore at their own pace. The key is to provide a supportive environment where your child feels their feelings are respected, and they have control over the pace of their exploration.

Modelling Adventurous Behaviour

Children often learn by observing their parents. If you try new things, show curiosity, and maintain a positive attitude towards challenges, you can be a powerful role model! Seeing you handle new situations with enthusiasm and resilience can be encouraging. Remember to also share how you cope with setbacks or fears – that it's normal and okay to feel anxious at times but that you're not letting it hinder exploration!

Encouraging Problem-Solving and Independence

Even if your child is naturally more anxious, you can encourage them to develop problem-solving skills and a sense of independence. Instead of immediately stepping in, you can guide your child to think of solutions – which builds their confidence and sense of agency.

Does it matter whether your child is adventurous or anxious?

Not exactly!! It’s an interesting chain of thought to bear in mind. But as in all things parenting, a balanced outlook is the best advantage you can give your child in all things. The important thing is you're trying to avoid them being one of this horribly over-anxious generation. So – aim for an outgoing spirit without overwhelm. How’s that sound? Go for it?

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ALWAYS:

Trust your instincts,
use your judgement, protect the spirit
of your child