5 Everyday Anti-Anxiety Tactics to Avoid Being Bullied

Anti-anxiety tactics will serve your child in any situation, and in my strategies section I have offered many ways of reducing it and/or eliminating it. Here, we’ll simply look at five anti-anxiety tactics for your child that are particularly useful to have as an everyday skill to avoid a situation where any other child dares pick on them.

See what you think. It’s very much a question of making these tactics part of how they behave – right from when they start to socialise with others.

Of course, we all know that from an early age (say, two) they will be asserting themselves and saying NO to you! The trick is to teach them how and when to employ that tactic, so they learn nuance as they grow up!

5 anti-anxiety tactics to learn as they grow up

1 Practise assertive body language and speech

Ever met anyone who seems to threaten you with their language – and then realise they’re actually smaller than you, not in a position to tell you what for, and quite inoffensive looking in the light of day?

What does this tell you? They have stood tall mentally. They’re probably making eye contact with you. And they’re probably projecting immediate confidence in their speech that has taken you off guard.

Now – if we realise this and think about how our children can tackle an incipient fear of being bullied, you can probably reverse engineer all this (like we just did) and help your child grow up with these anti-anxiety tactics as part of their armoury. In addition, speaking clearly and using words well is a first-rate ploy to help them succeed in anything in life.

Tactic: Stand tall, make eye contact, project confidence by speaking clearly.

2 Practise deep breathing for calmness

If you can encourage your child – alongside all members of your family – to have fun using breathing techniques to slow the body down to normal (and bring online the thinking brain), you give them anti-anxiety tactics they can use in any stressful situation.

Ever noticed it’s the shy-looking, vulnerable kids most likely to be picked on. So your child might be naturally shy, but if they can think straight in stressful situations as a matter of routine and habit, you have helped address the bully problem for if and when it starts. Most people call this deeper breathing diaphragmatic breathing.

Tactic: Learn diaphragmatic breathing and other calming techniques to keep the nervous system in good shape.

3 Role-play assertive communication

From toddler tantrums to argumentative teens, you know what it counds like when they refuse point blank! 

Antagonising you and simply trying to become independent are, of course, two stages that have to happen. But skills are only bad if used wrongly or in the wrong place.

The key here is to teach them gradually how to maintain that attitude and use it in appropriate situations. This is then one of their anti-anxiety tactics.

Make sure you have lots of time with your child at every age to talk through and play at being assertive in communication when it’s necessary.

You could make a set of cards with a situation on each. There are plenty of ideas for a scenario on the internet. Adjust to your child’s age and have fun responding to the situation with a good choice of words. It’s about more than saying NO - don’t forget the skill of giving opinions politely!

Tactic: Learn ways of saying things in an assertive way, confidently.

4 Join group activities

One hugely successful way to avoid being bullied – which is therefore a great anti-anxiety tactic – is to have a group of like-minded friends. A tribe, if you like. Team sports work well for this, and so does joining a club for, say, swimming, judo, park-running etc. If their hobby has a group they can join, that's great too.

If they get good at whatever it is, that’s something that brings respect. But even if they don’t, they have group support and a safe space to practise social skills and self-confidence.

Tactic: Find a group of friends via sport or team hobbies.

5 Prepare and rehearse come-backs

Everyone loves a good come-back. Make sure your child doesn’t grow up freezing or feeling bad when a brother or sister or friend teases – as they always will at some point. 

Bringing humour into the situation releases possible tension, but it also helps your child learn a repertoire of come-backs that will sound assertive, refusing to be flattened by the comment! 

So – as your child grows up, help them learn good answers, and ways of staying balanced when people tease, and they will be able to draw on this in times of real need.

Tactic: Develop and practise simple responses to handle teasing or unexpected challenges.

It's a long-term strategy!

As we said, this is not brought onboard suddenly. It’s more a way of life you’re introducing your child to – gently and constantly – so they can handle possible thoughts of being bullied with a set of anti-anxiety tactics that are already part of their skill set. The same skills not only calm anxiety but will also help defeat any bullies. Give it a go?

A practical book for parents

Bully-Proof Kids  by Stella O'Malley is great read whether you have a child, a tween or a teen. Stella includes both ideas and practical help to bear in mind as you raise your child to be resilient and happy. 

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ALWAYS:

Trust your instincts,
use your judgement, protect the spirit
of your child